When it comes to prostitutes, people tend to have several ideas about them. Some will express sounds of disapproval of sex work all together. But still there are some who respect sex workers and admire them for their emotional capabilities because they acknowledge the fact that it is not that easy a job as it may seem.

It always bothers me when clients imply that it is an easy way to earn money. They usually utter such remarks right after they paid the agreed fee. And so, for assuming that you make loads of dough and are able to afford just about anything that tickles your fancy. They completely miss the fact that you are running a small business and that you are also subject to fan mail from the tax department and have to cover overhead expenses.

“People think we have an on/off switch”

This post is not about money but about emotions. In general, people think we have an on/off switch which controls our emotions or feelings. I was under the same assumption when I started many years ago. Back then, I always took a couple of minutes to set imaginary switches into the correct position before visiting a client. After a while I discovered that switches did not do the trick to my satisfaction since emotions are not a binary element.

Maybe this shall work during a basic short and quick sex date. My dates usually vary from one to several hours, in which the physical aspect may be inferior to the emotional which is achieved with socializing and conversing combined with seduction. Shutting down all emotions and sensation simply does not work for me. I can not possibly deliver a Girlfriend Experience without showing some emotions and revealing a part of my personality.

My switches have been replaced by a buffer zone which holds a small part of my personality and is safe to share. The end of this zone defined by a solid line. Beyond that line lies the part of myself which remains strictly private. The line can however, be moved within the zone to limit its size, adjusted to circumstances and to my date.

This enables me to add a personal touch to a commercial date, creating a friendly and open environment where emotions can safely be expressed. How it works in detail? Outlining all the technical and psychological aspects would be enough material for a book.

The nice benefit is the added realism to a pay date which becomes less of an act. It is also less demanding because I am not performing an act. Instead I can just be myself within the safe limits of the zone. Sharing of thoughts and feelings also adds a layer of trust which in itself is beneficial for safety since it slightly fades the anonymity. The girl is no longer the anonymous hooker which is paid merely for sex.

“It slightly fades the anonymity”

She is now a real person with identity, emotions and calculated soft spots. It does require you to set golden rules and to always treat the end of the zone as an absolute limit.

Every date has two sides, or two parties if you like. From my side I will never lose sight of the commercial aspect and will always do my utmost to deliver a service of consistent quality. After all, the client chooses you for the service you offer which is unique in combination with you as an individual. Of course there are those who just want plain sex with a female and don’t care too much about a total package which corresponds to a specific fantasy. Those are almost never the ones who book your companionship for several hours or for an overnight stay.

Consistency in quality is not always easy. We are still human beings with personal emotions and ups and downs in our lives. Whenever you are experiencing strong emotions or grief in your private life, it will take a substantial amount of effort to release yourself temporarily and not take those emotions into your buffer zone contaminating it. In the end, you are a professional entertainer and you want to prevent your client from being burdened by your private-life troubles.

“The perfect girlfriend”

A Girlfriend Experience is a rather relative and contra-dictional term. What is it that the client wants? Does he want the exact same experience as he would have had with a regular girlfriend? If that is the case then why bother dating a sex worker when you’ve got your girlfriend waiting at home? Of course, clients do not expect you to tell them to walk the dog, or take out the trash. Clients who are in a relationship, want a girlfriend-experience which is exactly the same as with any girlfriend, but which at the same time is totally different.

In fact, they expect you to be the personification of the utopian or hypothetical image of the perfect girlfriend. When you have established a longer relationship with a client, he is usually pleased to notice your different emotions on dates. Very happy and extravert on one date, and the next time maybe a little quieter or softer. Again it adds realism to the pay date. So, when I am a little down I will never try to act extremely happy. It is a part of yourself that delivers the service. And that part is simply real.

From a deeper psychological point-of-view I can claim that a pay date is also a regular date. For that particular moment, it is reality. Some clients avoid the moment of payment by placing the money under a coaster before my arrival. Or they discretely slip an envelope in my coat or purse without interrupting the scene. Every minute spent with a client is real. It is real in that particular setting, in that awareness and in that fenced context. Leaving everything outside out of any calculation. Maybe it is exactly that, which is the element which defines a date into a Girlfriend Experience.

You never take negative private emotions to your date. But, you are allowed to take positive emotions which derive from a pay date back to your private life. Now, doesn’t that sound like a good deal?

So…wipe those tears, fix your mascara, straighten your shoulders, lift your head and off you go, girl! Walking down the streets, trying to man up – ridiculous term, btw – at times the song ‘Send in the Clowns’ from the Broadway musical ‘A Little Night Music’ goes through my mind. To also end the post in in terms of music: ‘The show must go on!’

“Every minute is real!”