Point of view

This site was set-up from my personal perspective of dealing with sex work. Witnessing contradictions, hypocrisy, fake tolerance en narrow-mindedness, I started to question the meaning of freedom in this country which profiles itself as being liberal. For just over a decade I have been earning a living as an escort girl, servicing south-west Netherlands and part of Flemish Belgium. Since then, government policies and regulations have repeatedly been altered. It is almost like a soundproof glass wall separates sex workers from politicians.

Freedom

Many people may question my sanity or will try to raise doubts within myself. Earning a living with sex work has been, is, and always will be my own decision. It was not pre-determined and I did not go around elementary school proclaiming a desire to become a prostitute. According to the outcome of career choice tests I was meant to grow up to be a veterinary assistant. True, I did love animals, but never would I be any assistant. That would feel limitating to my creativity. I was sure about my urge to always be independent. After college I was actually employed for six months, only to realize that I should follow my heart and be self-employed. Already, the ability to choose my working hours and my line of work which would effectively result in choosing the height of my income, was of great importance. That to me, is freedom.

Life brought me my own company which was selling both services and products. Since I was operating internationally, I frequently travelled the world and was more of less leading a jetset lifestyle, meeting interesting people from whom I learned valuable lessons. Although I had the privilege of being able to do almost anything, an underlying feeling that something was lacking could not be denied. Building and maintaining the company meant that I had to live up to many expectations. I was expected to show up on certain occasions, for trade fairs, seminars, meetings or just to socialize and entertain business friends. It felt like I lost control of my life and had become a puppet on a string. Then I realized that I was not merely as free as I thought I was.

Respect

The erotic world and lifestyle has always fascinated me. It is the endless game of fantasy, temptation, seduction and satisfaction between two or more individuals. I was frequently found in swingers clubs and resorts in the Netherlands and accross borders. Then, in the private (kinky) party scene I learned that the combination of sex and respect was mandatory. Everyones opinion, preferences en choices were always respected.

Sex work is a service

By then I had already worked providing virtual erotic services for three years. It did pay for my living but ultimately it was too impersonal and I missed real life interaction. The decision was then made to do what I had in mind long before when the time was not yet right for me. Starting my quest in the world of ‘sex for money’ I conducted several trials and gained a lot of experience. From the possibilities, working as an escort seemed to be the most suitable choice for me. As an independent call girl I set my own margins, thus enabling me to personalize the service I was providing and giving it my own identity. In retrospect, you could state that I am still traveling for my job, meeting people on appointment, arrange my own marketing and provide a service like before. But now, I was more grounded, in touch with myself, and it felt like I found my freedom.

Tolerance

Sex work is still not an accepted profession. Sex workers still do not have the rights that they are entitled to, being officially self-employed entrepreneurs. It is still considered inappropriate whenever you openly talk about your job. It is hard to always wait, scan or estimate whether someone’s ears are sex-work-proof or if their beliefs would stand in the way of respecting you as a person. Only then can I decide if it is safe to share my enthousiasm or be spontaneous about pleasant or funny experiences. It is even harder after less pleasurable moments to keep your emotions and worries to yourself.

Even on the internet (which ows its mere existence to sex) I have been penalized, bluntly removed, banned, blocked or deleted. More than once I have received patronizing emails expressing disgust and contempt, or attempting to convert or simply humiliate me. And all that… just because I tried to do my job honestly and abiding by legislative rules. Just like I was used to when I was active in other fields of business.